There are three things you don't ever want to mess with in life...
First: An opossum that has been cornered into the mud room carrying a young one. The visions of that thing lunging for my jugular still haunts me.
Second: No matter how innocent your statement or suggestion may be, if you ever date a woman with a small child, do not give her parenting advice. Even if she asks specifically for advice, keep it short and vague. (Trust me on this, guys.)
Third: If you're visiting family on a military base and you decide to ride your motorcycle there, you are required to wear a reflective vest (along with a helmet, of course). Knowing that the United States Military contains the finest batch of gun-happy young men and women in the world, I would strongly suggest not pissing them off by ignoring that rule. Joe Rocket's Military Spec Motorcycle Vest is a sure-fire way to make sure you're up to code. It features the Free-air™ poly/mesh shell and is fully adjustable so you can easily wear it outside of your riding jacket. The vest also has a pocket in the spine so you can add C.E. armor if you'd like, and with the I.D. pocket and the reflective stripes in the front and the back, you can rest assured you won't get run over by a friendly tank.
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